I am about to hit 30s soon, not very soon
though! I was born, became a daughter, sister, grand-daughter, cousin, aunt,
friend, colleague, co-worker and much more in all these 30 years. While it
sounds and looks familiar for we are part of a society that gifts us a family
from the moment we are born, it also gifts us relationships that makes us feel
special.
A daughter to my parents and little sister
to their elder daughter, I am part of a huge family that has extended its
support towards me at all times through their unending love and care and has
helped me become who or what I am today. Yes, I am blessed to be a daughter and
not a son, for I believe, I care for them more from the heart than the mind.
My family gifted me relations that are more
female dominated than male. And the most special amongst them are the grandmas
that I have.
Grandmas are special. They are the one who
do not behave like an elderly parent and do not try to control your behavior
any time. In fact, they get amused with your acts of insanity, they know how
you feel when you get scolded and offer their lap to sit on and listen to the
complaints about their own children, take your side and encourage secretly to
go and fulfill your dreams and assure you love and care all throughout your
life. Blessed with so many grandmas and each different in their own ways, my
childhood, teenage and adulthood have been filled with so many of their
memories.
My paternal grandma, Thamma as we called her, was the matriarch of our family. My grandfather
passed away in mid-1960s leaving behind four children with her. She brought his
family together, took care of the children, had them settle down and enjoy a
house filled with grandchildren. I am her fifth grandchild and emerged at a
time when she was already enjoying her time with a relatively new born
grandson. Our cousin brother-sister Jodi must have driven her crazy for we were
considered twins and were always together in our acts. I remember her as the
woman who was respected the most in the family due to her motherly nature towards
each and every one, her flawless beauty even in her old age, her cooking
capabilities and preparing vegetarian dishes that can make the most popular
chef weak on his knees and for her rules and regulations that nobody dared not
to follow. I admire her for her personality as a woman who never bowed down to
circumstances that might have gone wrong and for having strength to keep her
family closely knit. All I have today is respect for her and prayers that her
granddaughter can live and lead her life with equal respect.
If Thamma
was a woman of strength, my Dida
or maternal grandma, was a woman of eternal love and spirituality. Personality
of a person does not only depend who the parents are, but also the
grandparents. Being nice and humble to people, sporting a smile on your face
always and having eternal faith on the Almighty that He will lead us to good
times, that is how I describe Dida.
She belonged to a family where there are more women than men. She herself had
three daughters and four granddaughters and a grandson. No doubt, she knew how
to read our minds and what gifts we wanted on our birthdays. Her stories, her lullabies,
her conversations with me which no one really understood and her emotional
support when it was needed the most, she filled my life with love. I always
knew that her lap was the most precious and secured one when I needed or a word
of encouragement from her would suffice my fearing and troubling mind. She wasn’t
the matriarch like Thamma but she was
the woman who earned respect from all because of her nature and we feel proud
to be addressed as her grandchildren. Spirituality or the eternal love and
faith on God was what she gifted me as genes. If I know I have to pray to God
for helping me get through a tough phase in my life, I do it because of her and
my mother’s faith on Him and because, their faith never failed. I adore her for
being the friend that I had and respect her for being the woman who only knew
how to love, care and bring a smile on my face.
An interesting fact is that I share my
birthdays (English and Bengali calendar) with both these lovely and beautiful
women. If not for them, I would not have managed to get such wonderful parents.
If I know why I must earn respect for myself, it is because they earned it for
themselves.
On the occasion of International Woman’s
Day, I salute my grannies for who they had been and who they continue to be.
