#AbMontuBolega and I will too!

A few days back, at a corporate training program at my workplace, I was asked some questions unexpectedly. The Leadership Training Program was designed to understand the capabilities and aptitudes of the upcoming leaders in the organization and to check whether we are ready to take up new roles. Each of us was asked to fill up a questionnaire that had questions related to our thoughts over leadership.

One of the questions that struck me personally was whether I voice my opinion strongly whenever we are in a meeting or when our suggestions are discussed in an open platform. I asked myself, and the answer was 'No'. While I do voice my opinion and suggestions, they are sadly not strong enough to be taken seriously. Isn’t it the same that is happening with our country right now? We all have opinions about what to do and how it should be done. But do our opinion reach the right platform?

India, with its newly formed government, is wishing and working towards bringing about a change in the outlook of the country. That we can and we will. But how? For me personally, turning India into Swachh Bharat is not only the government’s responsibility. It is our responsibility as well. Clean India is not about only clean roads and alleys or putting up dustbins all across. It is also about voicing your opinion about something that requires immediate attention, and that for me is the safety of women and children. It becomes difficult to travel at late nights for women, even if accompanied by family or friends. Whether it is when you are coming back from work in a public transport or from another place, the fear of facing unexpected and difficult situations is always there. Why can’t we have police patrolling on the streets on the weekdays as well? Why can’t we have a female police accompanying us? Why can’t we have the lights on at the bus stops to check if any person is already there?

Probably we can now - with the new campaign from Strepsils. Strepsils is the world’s leading sore throat lozenge which fights both bacterial and viral throat infections and gives soothing and long-lasting relief. With Strepsils, you can get a healthy voice to express yourself completely.

#AbMontuBolega campaign or The Power of Voice to Clean India, organized by Strepsils has been designed to encourage the people to raise their voices, share their opinion and to stop being a silent spectator. Raising their voices against all that is dirty in India is the most significant power that they have. Exercising this power will help in taking a step towards cleaning those places and addressing those issues that deserve immediate attention and the authorities managing them require to hear them out. This is how we can achieve a Swach Bharat. That is why, they say Kyunki Bin Bole Ab Nahi Chalega #AbMontuBolega. The campaign details and updates can be accessed on Strepsils Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/StrepsilsIndia) and Twitter (@StrepsilsIndia). For further details and to listen to Montu, visit http://www.abmontubolega.com/

And like Montu, I am raising my voice and opinion, with a clear throat to address this issue.

PS: I am going to apply the same in my office as well. Because, it’s time to speak up and speak right.

Be Period Positive!

They ended their speech with this line: Be period positive. They spoke about an initiative that is not talked about easily because it’s a taboo. You are not supposed to discuss the subject in the open. Especially in the presence of men, be it anybody—father, brother or any other person.

Aditi Gupta and Tuhin Paul were introduced by the Emcee in the second session of #TedxBangalore on August 3, 2014 as the couple who is working as a team on a delicate subject. It’s about that difficult time of the month that a girl cannot explain easily to anyone and her mother is known to tell her, every girl has to go through this phase. You are not alone in this case!

Maybe we girls are not alone. Maybe the girl sitting next to you is going through the same problem, but why is it so difficult to discuss it in the open? Everyone knows about it. It is not that secretive a matter like an invention of a rocket. Aditi, in her speech, spoke about the problems that she had to go through in her early days of menstruation wherein she was not allowed to talk about it with her father and brother, not speak with the relatives or worship Gods and follow many such instructions. Almost all of us are asked to follow the same rules, except in a few cases where the men in the family are supportive enough to understand your problem. I never had a problem talking about this with my Dad because he was simply my father who needed to hear out his daughter. My Mom never told me don’t let people know about it but yes, it is a subject that you should not discuss too often. It’s something that happens to girls and boys know about it too. They don’t come and tell you if something related to their health happens. You definitely have a lot many interesting things to talk about other than this. Oh yes, we do!

However, the idea generates a sense of embarrassment when you even step out to buy the packet in the presence of men in a pharmacy shop, but not that much when you pick it up from the local supermarket. Men generally do not linger around that area, so it’s easier to pick it up from there. But in the pharmacy shop, it's not that easy. Initially, when I had started shopping for myself, asking for the packet used to be difficult. I was shy because the pharmacists were men and the people around were too. But, when the realisation dawned upon me that it’s a necessity and there is absolutely nothing to be shy about, walking up to the pharmacy and asking for my preferred choice of sanitary napkins was much easier.

It is nothing new or innovative that is happening with us girls, but it is exclusive to us. Making it sound like a dirty thing doesn’t really help because it is an integral part of being a woman. I would personally like to applaud the idea and efforts of Menstrupedia couple for bringing it in the public in such a creative manner and I hope, their efforts help in transforming the shyness into a positive confidence in the young girls and feel good about themselves.

Learn more about the concept here.

Choose to respect, not abuse!

This ad campaign won accolades in the international advertising circuit for its hard hitting and powerful stance. Issued for Save Our Sisters initiative by Save the Children India NGO and created by Mumbai's Taproot India Advertising Agency, the campaign urges us to act before it’s too late against domestic violence.

The ads showcased bruised faces of Hindu Goddesses, Durga, Lakshmi and Saraswati, in an attempt to spread the message, "Pray that we never see this day. Today more than 68% of women in India are victims of domestic violence. Tomorrow it seems like no woman shall be spared. Not even the ones we pray too."

Photo credit: CNN IBN

Domestic violence is a serious issue, not only in India but everywhere. It is not about men exercising their physical control or strength on women, but a serious mental problem. No person deserve to be hit or abused in any way. Neither a woman nor a man. Getting battered, beaten, slapped or refused of daily amenities or sexually abusing anybody, does not fall in the decorum of any law. Reports of physical abuse, harsh behavior, burn cases and even death of victims are all over the media every other day. Either the man or the lover kills the woman only or gets himself killed after committing the crime. Many women are reported to be beaten regularly due to causes like excessive alcohol consumption, drugs, stress and mental weakness of the men.

Many women choose to leave when the level of abusing crosses its limit but some continue to stay back in the hope that things might get better someday. Some also believe that going out of the abusive relationship would invite social trauma or negative turn of events from the people who she knows and interacts with. Abuse, whether physical, sexual or verbal, is crime in every sense. There are many cases of economic abuse as well. The spouse is deprived of economic resources or exploitation through demands of resources from her family. This is what we know better in India as the Dowry system.

The idea here is not talk about stopping abuse but bring a change in the mindset of people. In cases of marital abuse, not only the husband but the in laws are known to abuse the bride for reasons that are very hard to explain logically. How difficult is it to accept that women are equally skilled and knowledgeable to run a household? That she can be a partner is supportive enough to make the house function smoothly? That every decision taken by her is in favor of her family? If she is educated and earns for herself, it is only to ease out the burden off the shoulder of the father or the husband?

A woman does not need to exercise her physical power to prove herself. It is her nature, her behavior, her mind and her selflessness that makes her what she is. A daughter, a wife, a mother, a sibling is what she is by birth, but a leader, a colleague, a friend is what she becomes when she is accepted with respect socially. It is never late to realize that you need a woman beside you to survive your life. Respect them and you will earn much more respect than you probably deserve.

Salute and cheers to womanhood!

You're special, Grandmas!

I am about to hit 30s soon, not very soon though! I was born, became a daughter, sister, grand-daughter, cousin, aunt, friend, colleague, co-worker and much more in all these 30 years. While it sounds and looks familiar for we are part of a society that gifts us a family from the moment we are born, it also gifts us relationships that makes us feel special.

A daughter to my parents and little sister to their elder daughter, I am part of a huge family that has extended its support towards me at all times through their unending love and care and has helped me become who or what I am today. Yes, I am blessed to be a daughter and not a son, for I believe, I care for them more from the heart than the mind.

My family gifted me relations that are more female dominated than male. And the most special amongst them are the grandmas that I have.

Grandmas are special. They are the one who do not behave like an elderly parent and do not try to control your behavior any time. In fact, they get amused with your acts of insanity, they know how you feel when you get scolded and offer their lap to sit on and listen to the complaints about their own children, take your side and encourage secretly to go and fulfill your dreams and assure you love and care all throughout your life. Blessed with so many grandmas and each different in their own ways, my childhood, teenage and adulthood have been filled with so many of their memories.  

My paternal grandma, Thamma as we called her, was the matriarch of our family. My grandfather passed away in mid-1960s leaving behind four children with her. She brought his family together, took care of the children, had them settle down and enjoy a house filled with grandchildren. I am her fifth grandchild and emerged at a time when she was already enjoying her time with a relatively new born grandson. Our cousin brother-sister Jodi must have driven her crazy for we were considered twins and were always together in our acts. I remember her as the woman who was respected the most in the family due to her motherly nature towards each and every one, her flawless beauty even in her old age, her cooking capabilities and preparing vegetarian dishes that can make the most popular chef weak on his knees and for her rules and regulations that nobody dared not to follow. I admire her for her personality as a woman who never bowed down to circumstances that might have gone wrong and for having strength to keep her family closely knit. All I have today is respect for her and prayers that her granddaughter can live and lead her life with equal respect.

If Thamma was a woman of strength, my Dida or maternal grandma, was a woman of eternal love and spirituality. Personality of a person does not only depend who the parents are, but also the grandparents. Being nice and humble to people, sporting a smile on your face always and having eternal faith on the Almighty that He will lead us to good times, that is how I describe Dida. She belonged to a family where there are more women than men. She herself had three daughters and four granddaughters and a grandson. No doubt, she knew how to read our minds and what gifts we wanted on our birthdays. Her stories, her lullabies, her conversations with me which no one really understood and her emotional support when it was needed the most, she filled my life with love. I always knew that her lap was the most precious and secured one when I needed or a word of encouragement from her would suffice my fearing and troubling mind. She wasn’t the matriarch like Thamma but she was the woman who earned respect from all because of her nature and we feel proud to be addressed as her grandchildren. Spirituality or the eternal love and faith on God was what she gifted me as genes. If I know I have to pray to God for helping me get through a tough phase in my life, I do it because of her and my mother’s faith on Him and because, their faith never failed. I adore her for being the friend that I had and respect her for being the woman who only knew how to love, care and bring a smile on my face.

An interesting fact is that I share my birthdays (English and Bengali calendar) with both these lovely and beautiful women. If not for them, I would not have managed to get such wonderful parents. If I know why I must earn respect for myself, it is because they earned it for themselves.

On the occasion of International Woman’s Day, I salute my grannies for who they had been and who they continue to be.

You’re special, Lady!

Coming Saturday is International Woman’s Day. March 8. A day that seeks to honor women across the globe and which focuses to appreciate their very existence on this planet, respect them for they are and love them for who they are. Recognized as a prestigious occasion worldwide, the theme for International Woman's Day 2014 as decided by United Nations is Equality for Women is Progress for All.

Through this blog post series, I take the opportunity to write about the different aspects of being a woman and what her existence here means to me. In this series, I aim to highlight some of the aspects of womanhood.