You're special, Grandmas!

I am about to hit 30s soon, not very soon though! I was born, became a daughter, sister, grand-daughter, cousin, aunt, friend, colleague, co-worker and much more in all these 30 years. While it sounds and looks familiar for we are part of a society that gifts us a family from the moment we are born, it also gifts us relationships that makes us feel special.

A daughter to my parents and little sister to their elder daughter, I am part of a huge family that has extended its support towards me at all times through their unending love and care and has helped me become who or what I am today. Yes, I am blessed to be a daughter and not a son, for I believe, I care for them more from the heart than the mind.

My family gifted me relations that are more female dominated than male. And the most special amongst them are the grandmas that I have.

Grandmas are special. They are the one who do not behave like an elderly parent and do not try to control your behavior any time. In fact, they get amused with your acts of insanity, they know how you feel when you get scolded and offer their lap to sit on and listen to the complaints about their own children, take your side and encourage secretly to go and fulfill your dreams and assure you love and care all throughout your life. Blessed with so many grandmas and each different in their own ways, my childhood, teenage and adulthood have been filled with so many of their memories.  

My paternal grandma, Thamma as we called her, was the matriarch of our family. My grandfather passed away in mid-1960s leaving behind four children with her. She brought his family together, took care of the children, had them settle down and enjoy a house filled with grandchildren. I am her fifth grandchild and emerged at a time when she was already enjoying her time with a relatively new born grandson. Our cousin brother-sister Jodi must have driven her crazy for we were considered twins and were always together in our acts. I remember her as the woman who was respected the most in the family due to her motherly nature towards each and every one, her flawless beauty even in her old age, her cooking capabilities and preparing vegetarian dishes that can make the most popular chef weak on his knees and for her rules and regulations that nobody dared not to follow. I admire her for her personality as a woman who never bowed down to circumstances that might have gone wrong and for having strength to keep her family closely knit. All I have today is respect for her and prayers that her granddaughter can live and lead her life with equal respect.

If Thamma was a woman of strength, my Dida or maternal grandma, was a woman of eternal love and spirituality. Personality of a person does not only depend who the parents are, but also the grandparents. Being nice and humble to people, sporting a smile on your face always and having eternal faith on the Almighty that He will lead us to good times, that is how I describe Dida. She belonged to a family where there are more women than men. She herself had three daughters and four granddaughters and a grandson. No doubt, she knew how to read our minds and what gifts we wanted on our birthdays. Her stories, her lullabies, her conversations with me which no one really understood and her emotional support when it was needed the most, she filled my life with love. I always knew that her lap was the most precious and secured one when I needed or a word of encouragement from her would suffice my fearing and troubling mind. She wasn’t the matriarch like Thamma but she was the woman who earned respect from all because of her nature and we feel proud to be addressed as her grandchildren. Spirituality or the eternal love and faith on God was what she gifted me as genes. If I know I have to pray to God for helping me get through a tough phase in my life, I do it because of her and my mother’s faith on Him and because, their faith never failed. I adore her for being the friend that I had and respect her for being the woman who only knew how to love, care and bring a smile on my face.

An interesting fact is that I share my birthdays (English and Bengali calendar) with both these lovely and beautiful women. If not for them, I would not have managed to get such wonderful parents. If I know why I must earn respect for myself, it is because they earned it for themselves.

On the occasion of International Woman’s Day, I salute my grannies for who they had been and who they continue to be.